Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
