I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
