You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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