I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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