how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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