Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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