So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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