Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
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Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
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Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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