as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
