does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
