The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
