she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize