Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
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