I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
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No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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