either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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