You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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