Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize