Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.