Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me