Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?