did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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