Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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