Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
