I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?