Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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