dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
