Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
