Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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