Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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