There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just found puke in my bra..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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