Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
