He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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