i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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