I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
