There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
