hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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