Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize