i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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