im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
