Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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