everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
