U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
