Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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