i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
