i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
