I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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