i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
