I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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