I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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