so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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