I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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