i don't like sucking hair
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
