Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
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We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
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Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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