The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
