Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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