I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
did i just pee glitter
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
