If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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