Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize